For the nights I’ve laid awake with you
Confessing into ur ears,
Nights I whispered my fears to you
Holding close my comforter.
The nights ur presence made my world so small
As u held my love, who’s so close, yet so far.
For the nights I gazed into ur eyes, contemplating life
To the nights I slept under ur subtle light.
From digging the past to dreaming the future
For letting out a sigh, for the heartaches I suffered.
Here I am, laying awake waiting for you
For I have secrets to share, but where are you?
Every time I plan to go home I am faced with one big question- when are you getting married? Being brown and slowly passing the marriageable age (way pass the ideal settling down age which in Indian standards is 24?) I think I am causing a lot of worry to certain Indian people who are neither family nor close friends. I find that amusing that it is not my family who shows concerns (knowing me well) but it’s usually ‘other ppl-the so-called well wishers” who are worried sick of my future. They are not just worried about my future apparently they are confused why my family is not bothered by my lifestyle. What really really bothers them is when they come to my folks and ask them when they are marrying off their kids and they get a reply- The kids are big enough to make that decision when they want too…(Gotto luv maa for that). The expressions that follow are priceless.
It’s very difficult for these people to grasp the concept of a single independent woman who is happy with her life. They don’t get it. How can you be happy when you are not married and have no plans to start a family any time soon. How is that even possible? I simply smile and confuse them.
Then the next round of questions start when I don’t answer anything straight.
They- “Are u seeing someone?”
Me- Are you my mother-well then, I guess I don’t have to answer u, do i?
They- “You are living so far away, you must be seeing someone.” You didn’t find any eligible boy there?
Me- I censor myself from what comes first in my mind and end the conversation with a sarcastic remark (which always annoys them and gives me the utmost satisfaction)
I don’t argue with them neither I give explanations but I do feel sad/sorry for them coz they don’t realize there is much more to life then settling down at the age of wa’ever u find ideal. I am not against settling down I am against living by numbers and living conventionally (and much more).
Not everyone wants the same outta life like your daughter did. Not everyone wants to have kids like your son plans to have. Not everyone likes to eat Indian food everyday. Not everyone can abide by your decisions just to make you happy like your daughter did. Some dare to be different…some dare to know what they want. Some dare to speak their opinions and live it like they want- I just happen to be one of them.
In the end, as soon as I got ma tickets booked I knew- somehow, somewhere, I’ll have the same conversation next time I am home.