This year I will…

So what is your New Year resolution?

For starters, I hate this question. I think it’s taken more as a competition then a declaration. Also, I don’t usually like the tone in which the question is asked. And lastly, I am not surprised by the people who ask me that question. I don’t expect anything less from them.

I don’t have anything against resolutions- really, I don’t! I just don’t believe you need to wait for the start of the year to change yourself. People make grand resolutions on the first day of the year and by the third day they forget all about them.

What I find most amusing is people take up resolutions so that they can prove to others they did something (like going green for saving the environment). The mere point of the resolution is to fit in the “I am part of the solution not the problem” club. My problem here is not the resolution itself but the intention of the resolution.

However, I like when people pick up resolutions towards a healthier lifestyle (eating right, drinking less, quit smoking types). But why wait for the start of the year for that. We should work on this all year along, no? At least people are focusing on themselves while making such resolutions. That’s better than being a part of some imperceptible smug club.

This year I hope you go a level deeper than your outer self. How about taking the inner journey and focusing on your inner-self? Now I am not asking you to go to a shrink and talk your heart out or take up yoga (now ntg is wrong with yoga-let me finish). All I am asking is to pay a little attention to the unconscious side of your consciousness.

How about listening to your heart this year?

How about being less pessimistic this year?

How about reading more books this year?

How about being less stressful about useless things this year?

How about picking up that passion you gave up coz u got so busy with…life? A close friend has taught me that you should never give up on your passion coz if you do you might achieve everything in life that you gave up that passion for but you’ll be left with a hole in your heart. Whether it is art, music, writing, baking-whatever it is-don’t give it up!

So today if you have a resolution to spare (like the spare change you give to the charity), I encourage you to listen to your heart and follow it boldly and fearlessly.

As for me, I took the inner journey and started listening to my heart and life has changed ever since.



Me & My Moon

For the nights I’ve laid awake with you

Confessing into ur ears,

Nights I whispered my fears to you

Holding close my comforter.

The nights ur presence made my world so small

As u held my love, who’s so close, yet so far.

For the nights I gazed into ur eyes, contemplating life

To the nights I slept under ur subtle light.

From digging the past to dreaming the future

For letting out a sigh, for the heartaches I suffered.

Here I am, laying awake waiting for you

For I have secrets to share, but where are you?

The Big Question

Every time I plan to go home I am faced with one big question- when are you getting married? Being brown and slowly passing the  marriageable age (way pass the ideal settling down age which in Indian standards is 24?) I think I am causing a lot of worry to certain Indian people who are neither family nor close friends. I find that amusing that it is not my family who shows concerns (knowing me well) but it’s usually ‘other ppl-the so-called well wishers” who are worried sick of my future. They are not just worried about my future apparently they are confused why my family is not bothered by my lifestyle. What really really bothers them is when they come to my folks and ask them when they are marrying off their kids and they get a reply- The kids are big enough to make that decision when they want too…(Gotto luv maa for that). The expressions that follow are priceless.

It’s very difficult for these people to grasp the concept of a single independent woman who is happy with her life. They don’t get it. How can you be happy when you are not married and have no plans to start a family any time soon. How is that even possible? I simply smile and confuse them.

Then the next round of questions start when I don’t answer anything straight.

They- “Are u seeing someone?”

Me- Are you my mother-well then, I guess I don’t have to answer u, do i?

They- “You are living so far away, you must be seeing someone.” You didn’t find any eligible boy there?

Me-  I censor myself from what comes first in my mind and end the conversation with a sarcastic remark (which always annoys them and gives me the utmost satisfaction)

I don’t argue with them neither I give explanations but I do feel sad/sorry for them coz they don’t realize there is much more to life then settling down at the age of wa’ever u find ideal. I am not against settling down I am against living by numbers and living conventionally (and much more).

Not everyone wants the same outta life like your daughter did. Not everyone wants to have kids like your son plans to have. Not everyone likes to eat Indian food everyday. Not everyone can abide by your decisions just to make you happy like your daughter did. Some dare to be different…some dare to know what they want. Some dare to speak their opinions and live it like they want- I just happen to be one of them.

In the end, as soon as I got ma tickets booked I knew- somehow, somewhere, I’ll have the same conversation next time I am home.